Just for Today I will Seek Solitude

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness creeps up on you when you don’t feel comfortable being on your own. You seek the company of others to make yourself feel better. You are sad and anxious when people are not around you.

If you are always looking outwards towards the material world, you will feel loneliness. Especially when all the stimuli of the material world is removed from your presence. On the other hand, if you are looking at self growth, at being more spiritual, the path begins with looking inwards. This means being comfortable in solitude.

You can be alone, and still be comfortable in your skin. You can spend time reflecting on what you want to do. The lack of contact from people is something that you actually desire, and look forward to. It is in solitude, that you find peace of mind by simply being with yourself.

Solitude as a spiritual practice is nothing new. The saints and rishis have been escaping to the mountains for centuries. To be close to nature. To nurture their souls. To find deeper meaning. It  can all happen when you isolate yourself from the material world and seek solitude.

The big problem is you and I are not saints or rishis. We are householders, those who choose to live, love and work in the material world. Does that means that we are devoid of all spirituality and solitude? Not at all.

Today’s Call to Action

Find a time during your day when you can enjoy 15 minutes of solitude. Where there is no intrusion of computers, smartphones, school work, office phone calls, television programs or radio shows. A period of time when there is absolutely no distraction for you, when you can seek a deeper connection with yourself.

Just lock yourself away in a room and close you eyes. Empty your mind of any thoughts that come using a simple meditation technique. Imagine three baskets before you. Label them past, present and future. Now as soon as a thought arises in your mind, simply decide which basket it belongs to and place it in that.

No judging the thought or wondering why it came, or trying to solve the problem it presents. Simply acknowledge that it has come and then let it pass into the relevant basket. Keep repeating this till you have no more thoughts in your head. Now enjoy this space where you are entirely in the present. Relax and breath deeply for as long as you wish to stay in this place of solitude.

When you learn to enjoy your own company, you become better at choosing who to spend your time with. With time and effort you will soon change the desert of your loneliness to a garden of solitude.

Affirmation – I enjoy spending time in solitude as it helps me connect better with myself. As my mind calms, I connect better with my soul and the Universe. My solitude represents my freedom.

I wish you days of enjoying your own company.

Love and light, always

Cashmere

Just for today I will Set and Respect Personal Boundaries

Ever so often we end up losing our peace of mind because we are arguing with someone close to us. A loved one can feel restrictive when they try to advice us on how to manage our matters better. It could be a parent wanting to guide an adult child, or a well meaning friend who wants you to do something their way as they believe it to be the best way.

In some cases it could even be because you want to help someone you care deeply about. It may be you who is offering the unsolicited advice and being snubbed for your trouble. While it seems so obvious to you that what you are saying is correct and the right thing to do, your loved one may resent what they feel is your interference in their personal affair.

You know someone is ignoring your personal boundaries when you feel mistreated. You may feel you are wasting too much of your time on someone. You feel taken for granted. You feel other people are trying to dominate you and control your actions.

If you are constantly feeling like a victim of other people’s badgering you may want to consider setting healthy personal boundaries. Set healthy boundaries as it is a part of your self care practice. Also make sure that you don’t push other people into doing things that make them fearful of you. Just as you set your own boundaries, pay attention to other people’s personal boundaries. Respect goes a long way in making any relationship work.

Today’s Call to Action

Learn to say “NO”. When people want you to do something for them, which you don’t want to or don’t have time for, just open your mouth and say “NO.” If you can’t say no to someone in person, do so via the smartphone. Texting a short message takes hardly any time. You can even practice saying the word “NO” to yourself in the mirror so that it becomes easier to say it to others.

Remember each time you say NO to someone else, you say YES to yourself.

Initially it may take a while for other people to understand that you are drawing a line. However as long as you are consistent, they will realise that it is a boundary that you are unwilling to compromise on. Remember you are well within your rights to have these boundaries.

Affirmation – I set and respect healthy personal boundaries. My relationships are rooted in a loving exchange of energy.

I wish you relationships that run on love and acceptance.

Love and light, always

Cashmere

Just for Today I will Monitor My Self Talk

Our mind is like a playful monkey. It is always hopping from one branch of the tree to another. Just like how the thoughts race through our mind, from one topic to another. It takes a certain amount of willpower to stop this undisciplined thinking and focus on a specific topic long enough to get a task done.

Any productive human being knows that the thoughts in the mind need to be guided to perform external tasks. What most people don’t realize is that even the internal conversations that you have with yourself can affect your productivity. This constant voice in your head that monitors every action you take, tends to either support you or make you nervous about what you are about to do.

This Self Talk is present all the time. It can be positive or negative. Imagine being with a critic who gives you negative feedback on every action that you take. In most cases the negative criticism can become immobilising. The trained mind knows how to keep the Self Talk positive so that the quality of our lives improves.

The good news is that Self Talk can be monitored and changed from negative to positive. All it takes is a little bit of vigilance to catch your inner critic and tame it. Remember these thoughts are simply a part of your past conditioning, they are not the gospel truth. Plus, at any given time you can change them.

Today’s Call to Action

Become conscious of the words that you are saying to yourself. Notice when you praise yourself for a job well done. Also pay attention when you are criticising your own behaviour. When you catch this criticism, immediately say the words “Cancel, Cancel” out loud. Then replace it with a positively worded encouragement.

For instance, you are about to pour water from a huge glass jug in the restaurant into your glass. The jug is full to the brim and your inner critic is shouting at you – “You are going to drop the water on the table.” Immediately say “Cancel, Cancel.” Then repeat this positive statement to yourself – You can easily pour the water from the jug to your glass.

In another situation, you are about to give a presentation to a client in front of your boss . Needless to say you are a bit nervous. Your inner voice is popping up to say - “Don’t ruin this.” Again say “Cancel, Cancel”. Now tell yourself - “You’ve got this. You are going to do an awesome job.”

It’s a constant task to monitor your Self Talk and keep it positive initially. Then gradually you will shift into a zone where your inner voice begins to encourage and praise you without conscious monitoring.

Affirmation – I constantly use positive Self Talk to build myself up. I am my own biggest cheerleader. I am a winner who is in charge of my life. I can do anything I set my mind to.

I wish you days filled with positive internal conversations.

Love and light, always

Cashmere

Just for Today I will Give Thanks for my Many Blessings

Life brings many people, situations and things to us. Most of them will challenge us in some way to improve ourselves. And when we meet these challenges successfully, we feel a sense of satisfaction, a sense of achievement. This is when we feel the need to express thanks to everything that helped us be successful.

The intention of giving gratitude is one that we often forget to follow through in our busy, productive lives. However, when we take the time to make gratitude a regular part of our journey, we reap many benefits. By regularly reminding ourselves of our blessings, we focus on what is to be appreciated in our lives.

It doesn’t matter if you give your thanks while you pray before sleeping at night, or journal it every morning as soon as you wake up. As long as you note what you are grateful for on a regular basis, you will have more to be grateful for.

Today’s Call to Action

Make giving gratitude a regular part of your day. Take a minute to think about three challenges that you are facing currently. Now catalogue what lessons you have picked up since these challenges appeared in your life. What skills have you developed because you had to handle these challenges? Now give thanks to the challenges for helping you learn these new skills.

Another way to ensure that you stay in a grateful space is to start a gratitude journal. I use one where each day I write down ten things that I am grateful for on that day. It could be about my health, my family, my career, my friends, a gadget that makes my life easy, just about anything can end up on my list.

I don’t have a fixed time for writing in my gratitude journal, but when I sit down to write I ensure that I don’t stop till I have my ten points for the day written down. In addition I also give thanks in advance for things that I want to happen in my life.

I call that part of the journal giving gratitude for future expectations. This helps me stay focused on what I wish to achieve in the near future. It doubles up as a list of goals.

Affirmation – I am thankful to the Universe for everything in my life. I express gratitude for all the wonderful blessings that exist in my life and for the many fantastic blessings headed my way.

I wish you days filled with gratitude.

Love and light, always

Cashmere